About self-belief, my mom and dreams

I do believe I have turned the tide back in the last two months, thanks to mom's support. I still remember that day in August when my flat-owner literally dropped a bombshell on me when he told me that he had resigned and was leaving the place. This was precisely 5 days before mom was to come over here. I had just returned from India and had fallen sick. Still I was feeling positive thinking about the mom's arrival over here.

Through the sickness, I had to run around looking for a room to live in. Flats are unaffordable in Abu Dhabi unless you have nothing better to do with your money. I was given the option of renting out my owner's flat for 130000 AED per annum. At today's rate, that would translate to 17 lakh rupees per annum!!! On top of this, there is the issue of bachelor's not being allowed so easily to rent out flats. You need a company letter or a marriage certificate or some such stupid document to be eligible to live in a flat peacefully. Even going to agents won't make your pocket feel any better!! Besides, I perfectly know why I am here. Still I had a problem at hand!!

I listed out all accommodations available from my company intranet forum. I was helplessly making calls trying to get a decent accommodation where I can keep my mom as well. I tried one place and it did not work out. My fever was getting to me and I had to go to office as well the next day. Things were only getting more tough. I had planned to bring my mom to help me with my preparation for GMAT. I always considered mom a pretty good hand at such stuff as she has so often done for me in the past. It's better to keep her over here than to waste such a crucial resource cleaning utensils and washing clothes at home!!

I made another call and went, unwillingly, to the place as it was far away from office. However, I found the family pretty good and the room was very spacious. In such turbulent times, I did not bother giving it a second thought and just paid the initial advance. Two days later, mom came to Abu Dhabi and the very next day, I shifted all my stuff to the new place, courtesy two pick-up van trips and a friend's car. I still knew I had an exam to give and my preparation was going nowhere at that point of time. Soon, we adjusted to the new place. Mom was allowed to use the kitchen and the uncle and aunty were extremely good to us.

The next bombshell came when I realised that GMAT dates were not available in Abu Dhabi post Sept 18th. That left me with 3.5 weeks to prepare well and get a good score. I booked my date and requested for a 5-day leave at office. I really didn't believe that I could make things happen but yes, with mom's constant backing and reduced working hours during Ramzan, I put in long hours at "work". Yes, work it was and the results are there now. A good GMAT score has opened up some new options for me. I can even consider an industry and function switch, something which can offer me more challenges that what I am facing now.

We visited Ajman and some new places in Abu Dhabi, watched a few movies and wrote b-school applications in the remaining time. The best part was that mom was there here with me on my birthday and that has happened for two years in a row now. Today, mom left for India. She is on her flight as I write this. However, I am pretty sure she must be thinking about me just as I am sitting and writing about her.

I have realised over the last few years that to make things happen, you need to take the initiative. Those who are afraid of failure shall probably never succeed in the true sense. Also, what differentiates the great from the good is the ability to successfully carry everyone ahead. I know in these tough times, I have not been able to keep in touch with my special friends. However, I still believe these experiences will keep me in good stead for the future. My special friends may leave, thinking of me as some selfish guy who is only interested in his own future. I may not be able to control their emotions and thoughts. However, as mom left today, I felt that I am doing my responsibility as a son. My mom considers me a special son, who is able to love her so much. I feel really proud about it. So what if it means I am having to ignore even some of the closest people for now. A duty is a duty. A dream is a dream.

For long, I have seen too many people compromise with their most prized possessions. Infact, these people don't even know that they possess those things. Humanity is thrown out of the window. The definition of love is only limited to the one that can exist between two strangers who get married. However, I still belong to old school of thought. I am pretty much an innocent guy today as I was 24 years ago. And I still love the person who brought me into this world as much as I loved her before.

Some things can never change. It doesn't mean that I do not value others and disregard their feelings for me. It only means that I am doing what an ideal son can do. Sure, a time will come when other things will begin to hold sway over me. I am prepared to wait for such a time. But if others are not, it's their wish. I do not own anyone nor have I purchased them. My doors shall always remain open for anyone and everyone who wishes to talk to me.

I do not know whether I am happy with life or not. Some people claim that I must be pretty happy - with a handsome job and handsome salary and some pretty sky-high ambitions. I believe happiness is relative. Sometimes, what others think makes you happy isn't quite the thing you are searching for. Yes, that particular thing may lie on your road to happiness but isn't the destination itself. However, it's better not to convince others about their notions. Let them keep those ideas unless they wish to change them.

I only wish God makes me more fearless with every passing day. It doesn't matter how the financial markets are performing or whether I will get another job tom if I leave my job today. It's about believing in the person in you - Self-belief can help you overcome any obstacle in your path. The threads of your life are in your hands no matter how helpless the situation may seem. Coz when you have this self-belief, even God will start believing in you. Remember one thing, God only offers challenges as per the capacity of an individual. He throws the toughest of challenges or choices or decisions to the people whom he thinks have nerves of steel. Indeed, those nerves may quiver for some time but as long as you are able to hold your composure, in the long run, you will find that the doors of life will start opening for you!!

So long....